Mindset

6 min read

Violence can often happen spontaneously, becoming as sudden as an ambush, or develop over time. Flipping the mental ‘switch’ allowing to pass the ‘freeze’ portion of the fight, flight or freeze syndrome to physically defend one’s self, is not as easy as one might think.

Firstly, one must eliminate both apathy and denial from their way of thinking, as they are a victim’s primary character traits. They are responsible for negligence and total lack of awareness, making one ill-prepared for any unfortunate event or circumstances, as chance does indeed favor the prepared mind.

Far too often, we hear victims of violence say, “I never thought something like this could ever happen to me,” or “Nothing like this ever happens in our town, just in the big cities.” This apprehension is a potentially deadly way of thinking, as violence unfortunately does and can happen anywhere, at any time to anyone. No one is immune to violence.

By no means is acknowledging violence a sign of paranoia, nor is it inviting it into your life. Instead, it is an honest admittance of its existence to avoid, prevent and, if necessary, defend against it. Not having this understanding can be put someone at an extreme disadvantage.

Many of those who we teach don’t believe they could ever bring themselves to hurt another person, even if they were being harmed. While it is understandable that a person wouldn’t want to harm another, it is, unfortunately, lacking in common sense and pragmatic thinking. Do not think about it as hurting another person, but rather doing what is necessary to avoid bodily harm to you or loved ones. It is an opportunity to stay alive, and most importantly, return home to the ones you love.

Self-preservation is never about hurting the other person; it is about preventing them from hurting you. Properly defending one’s self is accomplished by using whatever means necessary at the moment.

Violence does not just affect the person on the receiving end of it, but it affects all of those who are essential in your life, like family and friends. It is a dangerous and far-reaching ripple effect. Most people will do much more for those they love than for themselves, but you must be alive and well to benefit those you love.

The predator isn’t just trying to hurt you, they are also, by extension, trying to wound your loved ones through you.

Imagine the following as profoundly as you can for a moment:

How would you feel if someone you loved and cared about deeply, someone you couldn’t imagine your life without, went missing for a week? Now imagine a week later, their body was found close to where you live? How would you feel? Devastated? Enraged? Heartbroken? Vengeful?

Completely understandable.

Now flip the roles.

What you felt just now answering those questions is what your loved ones will go through if anyone were ever to hurt you or take you away from them. Will you let anyone, regardless of who they may be by familial, societal, cultural, or religious title, do this to us as well as those we love?

A resounding ‘No.’

By transforming your hesitation and fear into anger and your indignation into a tactical rage, you can start to transform yourself into something that can defend yourself and your loved ones. Tap into the love you have for the people, or anything else in your life, and you can be better prepared and a force to be reckoned with.

This is the crucial mindset that helps and has helped countless of humans of all ages, genders, races, and denominations since the dawn of our species to defeat incredible odds.

It is up to you to determine who are, what are the essential things in your life. Those you want to hug again and spend another day with, the project you started, the child you are raising, the lover who shares their life with you, the parents you have. These are the people and things we will do whatever is necessary for whatever it takes to get back home. We owe it to them. You owe it to them to be as healthy, as strong, as good as you can be because, in the end, they suffer if you are lacking.

It may be as simple as taking an hour and reading some material on this site, or perhaps perfroming stun and run, delivering a glancing blow to surprise the attacker and causing a defensive disengaging flinch while giving you enough time to run. It may even be as severe as having to take a life with different degrees of violence in between. It seems unpalatable, but it may be necessary for you to return home at night.

Whatever it takes to hug our loved ones again.